We assume people will buy (or, let's be honest, rent) houses, celebrate milestones, and plan vacations with their partners. So much of our modern life is built around romantic partnerships. He knew I had always regretted not studying abroad during college.He was happy to watch our dog and take care of our life in Los Angeles while I went to work on an olive farm with two friends. I was worried that with the length of time I would be gone and the distance (plus the spotty internet reception), it would feel like I wasn't just taking a break from my life, but also from him, which was not the case at all. This only added to my fear that I was doing something hurtful. For as much as he can take care of himself, my boyfriend does not really enjoy being alone for long periods of time. I did, however, feel terror at the idea of what it said about me - or about us - that I wanted to go. It's not that I didn't think I'd miss him, I wasn't worried about that I knew I would. The idea of leaving my boyfriend on his own seemed, frankly, rude more than anything else. So when I got the chance to spend a month traveling and working abroad - an indescribable luxury - I balked. Travel helps remind us that we exist outside of our relationships We've become accustomed to being around one another, especially after a pandemic where we were home together all day, every day for well over a year. But life naturally, and wonderfully, erodes independence. And still - even according to the couples counselor we recently saw - we are both very, very independent. We have a place together, a dog, and bills, I'm in and I'm in deep. Thus, it has come as a bit of a surprise to find myself in a very happy relationship of seven years. ![]() And I still feel, to a great extent, that I would and could be satisfied on my own. When I was younger, I loudly and boldly claimed that I did not see myself as a relationship person. I'm happy to do things on my own from movies to travel to decision making. I have always prided myself - maybe too much for a trait that is at least somewhat innate - on my independence. Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders.
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